“You all right, man?” Darren asks.

“Eh?” I realize I’m staring out the window.

“You’re awfully distracted. You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine. Just thinking.”

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t buy that for a second, but nice try. What’s the problem?”

I shrug.

“You worried about rehab?” He’s going to push me until I talk. That’s why we’re tight.

“Yeah.”

“Wanna give me more than that, Waters?” He stops at a light, watching me carefully.

“It’s the same concerns. Nothing new.”

He taps the steering wheel. “I think you need to stop focusing on what you’re not accomplishing and start looking at what you are.”

“I know I’m lucky it’s not worse than it is. I get that, but Ballistic is running the game out there, and I’m on the sidelines watching it happen.”

He nods, and the silence extends, which isn’t unusual with Darren. He weighs his words before he uses them. “You also need to consider that all this time watching is giving you a different perspective on the team. When you’re back on the ice, you’re going to know what to expect and how to plan for it. Randy’s not going to usurp you because he’s had one good season.”

He’s right, but it still sucks. I run a frustrated hand through my hair. Soon I’ll be able to make one of those man bun things like Ballistic if I don’t get it cut.

At my silence, he continues. “Just take it slow, Alex. You don’t want to push too hard too fast and end up setting yourself back.”

“I just want to be with my team.”

He pats my shoulder. “I know, man, and you will. It’s just not gonna happen as fast as you’d like.”

Everything he says is true, but it doesn’t make me feel better.

I prepare myself for the back pats I know are coming when I join the team in the training room. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been at it for a while now; every training session is hard. Especially since I’m unable to keep up with the rest of the team.

Miller drops down beside me on the bench while I do forearm curls with weights Violet could probably use.

“How’s it goin’?”

“All right.” My prior hockey injuries have been minor compared to this, with rehab being limited to weeks, not months before I was back in the game.

“This isn’t easy, huh?” He gestures to the weight I’m holding.

“It’ll get easier.” I change the subject to avoid discussing how long recovery is going to take and what I’m going to miss out on because of it. I’m lucky this isn’t ending my career, I remind myself. “How’s my sister doing this morning?” I haven’t had a chance to check in with her today, though that’s become a habit.

“Good. Great.” He moves to the edge of the bench and gets into position for triceps dips. “The morning sickness phase has finally passed. I don’t know why they call it that. I mean, the barfing isn’t limited to the morning. It was, like, all day, every day for a while. Anyway, she’s not hurling anymore, so I’m glad about that. Apparently Skye barfed every day with Vi, so it could be worse, right?”

This really isn’t a conversation I ever expected to have with Miller. At least not this soon. “I’m glad that part is over.”

“She’s feeling great these days. Lots of energy. Horny as he—” He cringes. “Sorry.”

“Violet says a lot worse.”

He nods. “Dude, I heard all about the kitchen incident.”

“What? She told you about that?” I need to talk to her about what she shares with Miller. There has to be a limit.

“She was talking with the girls when she was over the other day. I was unfortunate enough to overhear. I guess it’s good you’re keeping her happy, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I try my best. It’s a lot easier now that I have the use of both arms again.”

We both blow out a breath. This is a very Violet-overshare kind of conversation.

“Anyway. So, uh, the wedding stuff is going okay? Vi seems a lot calmer these days.”

This is a much better topic. Safer. We’re less likely to want to punch each other over it. “Yeah. She hasn’t broken out in hives recently. I just need to get my mom off my back about the guest list, and we’ll be fine.”

Miller rubs the back of his neck again. “Yeah. Sunny’s kinda worried she’s gonna pull the same shit when we get married.”

I’m pretty sure my eyebrows almost shoot off my forehead. I shouldn’t be surprised. This was bound to happen. “Is that happening soon?”

“I’mma propose to her soon. I just need to find the right ring. I’ve already talked to your dad. We considered maybe getting married before the baby comes, but she’s starting to show, and, well, I don’t care about that, but I think maybe she does. Anyway, I’m cool with whatever she wants, before or after. Either way. If you ask me, I think she doesn’t want to steal your thunder.”

“That sounds like Sunny.”

“Yeah. She knows you’ve been waiting for this for a while.”

I hate to admit it, but I’d really like to get married before my sister. I know it’s not a competition, but I want to be first for this. Which sounds assholey. Because it kind of is. But Violet was right. I’ve spent most of my life being the center of attention, so I shouldn’t be put out that Sunny is going to be a mom before I get to be a dad. I figured I’d go first and be able to guide her through like I always do. But this time she’s first, so I won’t have any advice to give. I don’t know what I’ll say.