“It’s a good thing this couch is leather,” Violet says into my neck. I’m still lying on top of her, because moving means making a mess.

“It’s also a good thing the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow. I’ll leave out the leather conditioner for her.”

“I bet she knows we have the sex on here. I wonder if she fantasizes about it.”

“She’s in her fifties.”

“All the more reason to fantasize about what it must be like to get boned by a superhot, giant-dicked hockey player.”

I snort and then groan when my phone beeps again. “Why won’t she stop?”

“She can’t help herself, Alex. It’s frustrating, but I get it. You’re her Stanley Cup. She wants everyone to be there when she gives you away.”

“That’s a weird but accurate analogy.” I push up on my elbows so I can see her face. “You know what we need to do?”

“Have sex on Saran Wrap so there’s less mess to clean up?”

“Too much preparation, takes the spontaneity out of it.”

“You know, once we have babies we’ll have to plan sex like all the other real adults in the world. It’s another reason to postpone that as long as possible—also daily vomiting and struggling to walk are real negatives for me.”

“You know all I hear when you say that is the plural in babies, right? The rest I can deal with.”

“You can deal with? I’m the one who’ll be puking and uncomfortable. Let’s see how Sunny and Buck deal with being parents before we make my vagina baggy with your offspring.”

“That’s fine. I can wait.” I’m still inside her, and this discussion starts the process of re-inflating. “But we can practice a lot until you’re ready, right?”

“It’s my favorite thing to do.” She nibbles on my chin.

“We should go somewhere. For a vacation. Get away for a few days. Go have some fun. It’s been a rough few months. I think we need a break.”

“Charlene’s been talking about a trip to Vegas for a while. She wants it to be my bachelorette weekend or something. Maybe we could combine it with your bachelor party, and we can all go!”

I was thinking more of a trip with just the two of us, but having friends there could be fun, and she seems excited by the prospect. Besides, we’ll have a honeymoon, and that will definitely just be the two of us. “Have you ever been to Vegas?”

“No. The mathematician in me doesn’t like the odds of gambling.”

“It’s not all gambling, though. There’s tons of other stuff to do there.”

“You mean like watch girls get naked?”

“The only girl I want to watch get naked is you.”

“And the ones who give it up for anal on the internet.”

“Not true.”

“Totally true. But that’s okay. You’re allowed to dream. Oh my God, Alex. There are tons of sex stores there, right? I can get all kinds of fun toys, and we can try them out!”

“We sure can.”

“I need to call Charlene! She’s going to be so excited!”

“First we should have sex again, though.” I shift my hips so she can feel what’s happening.

Violet moans. “Oh, hey there. Wow. You must be really excited for the sex toys. Charlene can definitely wait.”

17

Vegas, Baby!

VIOLET

Just over two weeks later, we’re all standing in a hotel lobby, ready to get our party on in Vegas.

“We’ll see you guys in a couple hours.” Balls shoves his room key in his back pocket, grabs Lily’s hand and their suitcases, and starts booking it toward the elevators.

“There’s a bathroom right over there if you can’t wait!” I call after them.

Lily flashes a cheeky grin over her shoulder as she runs to keep up with his long strides. He punches the button a number of times, then dips his head to whisper something in her ear. Oh, wait—he’s not whispering; he’s kissing her neck. And I think he might be humping her leg.

“Jesus. Watching the two of them is legit like foreplay. How the hell do you and Buck stand being around them all the time?” I ask Sunny. “I feel like I’m going to spontaneously break into orgasm.” We’re waiting for the boys to sort out the room situation.

“I bet they’re the reason I’m pregnant. We don’t ever finish an entire movie with them. They disappear about halfway through, and then all the plants start shaking on the windowsills, so…” Sunny pats her baby bump. It’s still tiny, but more prominent than it was a few weeks ago. “Plus, now I’m all hormonal with the pregnancy. Sometimes I have to wake Miller up in the middle of the night so we can give me an orgasm.” Sunny looks over at Buck and smiles.

I love that it’s a we kind of thing with them, not just a he.

Sunny fans her face. “I think we might need some time to ourselves, too. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Pretty sure we’re all going to get our serious fuck on as soon as we get to the suite,” I say.

Lily and Randy opted to get their own room, instead of sharing the four-bedroom suite with us. They said it was so Lance didn’t have to stay on his own, but I have a feeling it’s so they can screw in the bathroom. And everywhere, really.

I kind of feel bad for Lance. Since he’s the only one without a girlfriend, he’s like the ninth wheel. But he seemed happy to have been invited, and I’m sure he’s not going to have a problem finding a random to hook up with. We’ve already been swarmed twice by hockey fanatics.